Oh, The Pressures...

Just the idea of being a girl can scare the living hell out of you. Not that it's any harder for the guys, they're messed up too. But men make it a little more difficult for us to feel good in such a pressure-cooker atmosphere.

And it's not just the men. Even the miniature versions of these men can screw us up. Take my brother for example: A few years ago, I was with my bro to catch a train somewhere and we met this friend of mine on board who I talked to for a few minutes before she had to leave. The moment she did, my brother turned to me and said:


Bro: OMG! Did you see her legs?

Me: Her what?

Bro: Her legs! She's so hairy.

Me: (trying to ignore) Look! A cow on the road!

Bro: (doesn't care) Well, you do it. Hair removal, I mean. Why can't she??

Me: I'm finding it hard to believe you, especially when your own legs rival that of a grizzly bear's.

Bro: Yeah, but that's what makes me a man! (puffs tiny chest out)

ME: Trust me, with that attitude, you're already halfway there.

Bro: I just need to grow some facial hair though. And maybe some armpit hair! That would be cool! Do girls have armpit hair?

Me: (hyperventilating) I'm so thankful I'm not going to be the one to have The Talk with him...

Bro: The talk about what?

Me: Sex.

Bro: Like in rep... uh... reproduction?

Me: (suspicious now) Yeah...

Bro: We did that in science yesterday. We saw these slides with yeast or something budding? It was kinda sick to look at. That's what you're talking about, right?

Me: Yes. That is what I was talking about.

Bro: Oh. Gross.

Me: You have NO idea, kid.


See what I mean?
share on: facebook