The Grossest Deaths in Hindi Cinema

Virtually all Hindi movies have one thing in common - a suitably happy ending for the protagonists and a lifetime in hell/jail for the villians. But some writers decide to take the story a little further by introducing a lovable character and then killing him/her ruthlessly to make it look like some effort had actually been put into the script. Or they just make sure the villain is killed in the most disgusting way possibly so as to not lose audience interest.


So here are my Top Ten Grossest Deaths in Hindi Cinema:


#10 - SRK and Manisha Koirala in Dil Se

In 3... 2... 1... BOOM!

Who didn't know that she was a terrorist? Well, SRK didn't and that just led him to an untimely death by blowing up in the middle of a field. Actually, it can be considered a warning for all those eve-teasers out there. If you stalk a girl in utter desperation, chances are she might be a suicide bomber with the LeT and bomb your ass till your intestines blow into a million pieces. Just a thought.


#9 - Shantipriya in Om Shanti Om

Some speculate that the Green Goblin might have killed her.

Well, actually it wasn't all that disgusting. I was kinda relieved at first 'cause that way I wouldn't have to sit through her 'ek chutki sindoor' monologue again. But what do ya know? Bitch comes back in a miniskirt and blowing bubble gum.


#8 - Amitabh Bachchan in Sholay

I don't even wanna comment on this...

I've actually never seen the whole movie in one go, just bits and pieces of it till I finally managed to edit the movie in my own head and figure out what the hell was happening. Still, Jai was a better actor thatn Veeru and definitely should not have died.


#7 - Random secondary character in Kaal

"Look at me! Do I look like a deranged maneater to you?"

That movie was ridiculous, and even the gory deaths couldn't make it any better. But there was this one cool scene where this minor character (who was just present for comic relief) finds himself beheaded by a glass window that broke apart when a car blew up. So that finally made him stop screaming and I could stare at John Abraham in relative peacefulness. And you know what was the grave mistake the producers committed (besides actually casting Esha Deol)? Renaming Corbett Park as Orbit Park. Seriously, he named it after a brand of chewing gum. No wonder the tigers were pissed.

#6 - Salman Khan and SRK in Karan Arjun

It's just a funny image, OK?

Why do I even see these movies? Oh, it might be because that's the only movie SET MAX seems to have any rights to air. That and Anaconda - Hindi Mein. But let's not even go there.


#5 - That jolly bhabhi in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

Salman Khan sexually harrassing women while rocking
the 'computer nerd in suspenders' look.

All was going well and happy in the magical land of Suraj Barjatiya where the unicorns gallop and the rainbows are bright. And then one fine day, when some 96% of the movie was over and the audience was soaking too much fluff-sugar into their bloodstreams, the bhabhi woman slips on some loose carpeting and tumbles down a longass flight of stairs to her early death. Anything more horrifying in a family movie?


#4 - Asin in Ghajini

Illustrating the fact that we see more of 'Kalpana was killed'
than we see the real Kalpana.

Stabbed and then knocked on the head with a metal rod. Anyone say 'ouch'?


#3 - SRK in Darr

The look of revulsion on Juhi's face convinced SRK
that he needed to double his deodorant use.

Sunny Deol (back when we could still understand what he was saying) beat the crap out of SRK and he finally died, all the while over-pronouncing his 'K's.


#2 - Amitabh Bachchan in Black

Why are all of Sanjay Leela Bansaali's movies
so effing BLUE?!

Alzeimer's is just painful, man. I don't want to talk about that.


#1 - The Untimely Death of Cinematic Dignity in all of Karan Johar's films

It started with this.

Dude makes six movies on families, families, families with adultery, families with heart disease, tiger families and homosexual families, all well-supplied with tear-jerking (eh...) scenes.

Seriously. I grieve.


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