China : Smoke or Bust

In what is possibly the saddest method used to improve a shaky economy, the Chinese government has ordered officials to smoke some 250,000 packs of cigarettes every year or be forced to pay a fine, says News.com

The idea is to boost the popularity of a local cigarette brand called Huanghelou, which is facing competition from other brands, while also obtaining funds via the cigarette tax. Catch is, if the targets are not met within a year, they'll start fining people for it.

Sometimes, I think the Chinese government has it right, what with the amazing job they did with the 2008 Beijing Olympics, and then I see bytes like this and any nice opinion just flies out of the window.

Then again, I totally get what they're trying to do here. The article does say that about one million people die every year in China due to smoking. So by encouraging this, China not only gets dough, but kinda helps reign in its population as well. As far as population control methods go, you can't beat this one.
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So... When They Say "The Best Job in the World"...

...they totally mean it.

Southall, a British charity worker, beat over 34,000 applicants, including his final opponent, an Indian RJ Anjaan, to win a freaking $150,000 deal with Tourism Queensland to become the new caretaker of a tropical Australian island along the Great Barrier Reef.

So now not only does he get paid to promote the heritage site, he's going to living in a 30bedroom villa off the coast of Hamilton Island. A villa supplied with a private swimming pool and a buggy for travelling. Granted, he'll be stuck on the island for a while, but he gets to keep in touch with the rest of the world via a blog, and last I checked, that ain't so bad...

You'd be wondering, "why the hell is this post up here anyway? You can't really make any wisecracks on it." Well, the campaign's already made about AU$110 million in ads and publicity, so if all it takes is a post to save a bunch of natural corals that keep most of the Australian coast still bearable to live in, then who am I to argue?
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I'd Kill for his Job

It's been some 100-odd days since a black dude became the "leader" of the "free world" and the most Barack Obama has done is condemn a couple of Arab countries for a whole bunch of crap. That, and adopting a dog. And posing for magazines. If that doesn't convince kids to join politics, what else would?

Anywho, from NDTV - snippets of Obama speech on the 100th-day anniversary of his appointment into the freaking White House:

In an extraordinary censure of the civilian government of Pakistan, US President Barack Obama on Thursday described it as "very fragile" and not seeming to have the capacity to deliver even basic services to its people.

As a consequence, it is very difficult for the government to gain the support and the loyalty of the people, Obama said in unusual remarks.

"I'm more concerned that the civilian government there right now is very fragile and don't seem to have the capacity to deliver basic services -- schools, health care, rule of law, a judicial system that works for the majority of the people," Obama said in a prime-time news conference marking the 100-day of his presidency.

Pakistan's government is fragile? Schools, health care and enforcement of law are basic services? And it took months of speculation and internet geek-wars between McCain and Obama supporters and the biggest inauguration ceremony ever to get to this conclusion? My brother would have told you the same thing, and he's twelve.

I can't believe I'm saying this --- but Chidambaram would be better any day.

*retch*

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Israel Owns All. End of Story.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Despite how so many people pretend to support Palestine, even as they are awed by Israel's military and administrative superiority that, I assume, is incomparable, the recent UN anti-racism conference in Geneva (April 20th) makes me wonder if people really are thinking this through or just going with the flow, just as a majority of mankind does.

An international conference on racism fell into disarray as Iran's president launched a verbal onslaught against Israel, triggering a mass walkout and furious rebukes from Western capitals.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who has previously called for the Jewish state to be wiped off the map, criticised the creation of a "totally racist government in occupied Palestine" in 1948, calling it "the most cruel and repressive racist regime.

"The UN Security Council helped stabilise this occupation regime and supported it for the past 60 years, giving them a free hand to continue their crimes," he said.

United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, who had earlier berated countries for boycotting the meeting, accused the Iranian leader of incitement, while other Western leaders lined up to condemn his remarks.

"I deplore the use of this platform by the Iranian president to accuse, divide and even incite," Ban said in a statement. "This is the opposite of what this conference seeks to achieve."

The United States, which led 10 countries in boycotting the meeting, said the furore vindicated the decision by the countrys first African-American president to shun the UN conference on racism in Geneva.

-Indiatvnews.com

So far, Israel, Canada, the United States, Italy, Australia, New Zealand, the Neatherlands, Germany, Poland, and the Czech Republic have boycotted the session. Ten nations out of some 190-odd countries participating in the summit. The rest of the world still remains stuck to their seats in the conference, even as it has evolved into an ugly scene of hate and pro-racist drama. Goes to show that herd-mentality is a still a force to be reckoned with.
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Off the Meat Market

Roger Federer married his longtime girlfriend, who he also knocked up, on Saturday in Switzerland (where else?). He announced the news on his website that he (27) and Miroslava “Mirka” Vavrinec (31) are currently prancing about in wedded bliss. Mirka used to be one of the top 100 tennis players in the world before she retired due to injury and became Federer's manager, cheerleader and partner all rolled into one.

Now, I know I'm supposed to be happy for them and their pending parenthood, but why? Why, God?! What have I ever done to you?? WHY???

From People magazine:

Roger Federer is officially off the singles market. The tennis champ announced on his Web site that he married longtime girlfriend and former WTA tennis player Miroslava “Mirka” Vavrinec in Switzerland on Saturday.

“Earlier today, in my hometown of Basel, surrounded by a small group of close friends and family, Mirka and I got married. It was a beautiful spring day and an incredibly joyous occasion,” Federer, wrote on his blog. “Mr. and Mrs. Roger Federer wish all of you a Happy Easter weekend.”

Last month, Federer, winner of 13 Grand Slam singles titles revealed that he and Mirka are expecting their first child this summer. The couple met while at the 2000 Sydney Olympics where they both represented Switzerland.

Excuse me while I go express my anguish into my pillow...
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North Korea Fires Rocket

A nuclear cloud, you say? No, North Korea said they were
just Chinese crackers.

What? You want me to be surprised? C'mon! We all knew this day would come...

I really don't feel like reporting anything, considering how long this whole 'North Korea is a defiant idiot' history is and my comments have run dry by now. So in quick words:

• NK fired a long-distance rocket, named Taepodong-2.
• It has a range of an approximate, and very sweet, 6000km
  
• Fired off NK's east coast, 15 seconds past 11:30 am local time.
• EVERYONE condemns it. Pranab Mukherjee, our "Minister" for External Affair, gives his two cents on the topic.
  
• NK claims it was supposed to be a satellite.
• US says in response, "Yeah, right!"
• Major repercussions. Or so says Obama. We all know by now that he's just a talker.

We all know what's going to happen next, don't we? NK will apologize, US will attempt to infiltrate its government, people will be caught and killed for 'spying', homeless people from all over the world will stand outside embassies and hold protests for God knows what, NK will apologize again, everyone will accept it and go back to their own bumbling governments and economies, all will be right in the world again except for said governments and economies, attention will be diverted back to Iraq/Afghanistan for a few months and NK will secretly start amassing nuclear weapons again.

If I, a juvenile, can predict this, why can't the world leaders?
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If Height Depicted Power...

...Michelle Obama would screw everyone, hands down.

Here's the First Lady of the US of A and our beloved Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh's wife, Gursharan Kaur, at the G-20 summit. It's cool how Ms. Obama is channeling the I-don't-give-a-shit-about-the-conservatives-who-think-I-shouldn't-wear-colour vibe. She has recently been getting smack for wearing sleeveless and brightly-coloured gowns, and frankly, all I can say is, "Ohh, pretty shoes!"


There was more WTF? news when Michelle Obama accidentally put an arm around the Queen, and touching her is forbidden by royal protocol. Oh, bull. When your son covorts with a woman who looks somewhat mangled, even after being married to the most gorgeous princess known to mankind, you shouldn't mind when people ask you to take your royalty and - *censored*

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