While cyclone Alia continues to wreck havoc across the Bay of Bengal border, taking hundreds of lives in the last week, Mumbai and the rest of Maharashtra is left in waiting for a monsoon that was supposed to start about a fortnight ago.
Because, seriously, the heat is freaking KILLING ME.
The Meteorological Department of India (which is never right, by the way) claims this extended summer will last till mid-June or so, and we should all just accept it and be cool about it.
Be cool about it? Really? Is this the appropriate time for word-play jokes?
Let's review how my last three weeks have gone by with the personification of my inner voice, yeah?
May 10th - Damn, it's hot. Time to rev up the air conditioner for a couple of hours.
May 12th - Whoa! A Rs.10,000 electricity bill... Either the board is playing a cruel joke, or global warming is.
May 15th - A couple of week left... A couple of weeks left...
May 17th - Looking up rain dances online.
May 18th - Application of said rain dance.
May 18th (a little later) - EPIC FAIL.
May 19th - Tending to blisters on feet caused by dancing like a lunatic on the concrete flooring of my colony's parking lot, at noon.
May 22th - The onset of pre-monsoon showers. And by that I mean a sprinkling of water that give us immense hope but is actually a big middle finger by Earth in response to human-triggered increased carbon emissions.
May 24th - Meteorological Dept. asks us to wait till June...........................
May 26th - The elections are done with, right? Who cares if civilians don't get 24/7 electricity supply anymore?
May 27th - Apparently it's raining in Bangalore... *books tickets*
May 28th - Hanging out in malls in sheer desperation.
May 28th - (fifteen minutes later) Barely survived the 10 minute autorickshaw ride from home to the mall.
May 29th - The sun shines with a new vengeance (could also be the name of a Jackie Chan movie).
May 30th - Parched throats. Dry tongues. Burning eyes (contact lens don't help). An anvil on my head. Every pore on my body on fire (and not in a good way). This sucks.
Today - OMFG I NEED RAIN!!!!1!!
-terminated-
.
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Showing posts with label OMG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OMG. Show all posts
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
So... When They Say "The Best Job in the World"...
...they totally mean it.Southall, a British charity worker, beat over 34,000 applicants, including his final opponent, an Indian RJ Anjaan, to win a freaking $150,000 deal with Tourism Queensland to become the new caretaker of a tropical Australian island along the Great Barrier Reef.
So now not only does he get paid to promote the heritage site, he's going to living in a 30bedroom villa off the coast of Hamilton Island. A villa supplied with a private swimming pool and a buggy for travelling. Granted, he'll be stuck on the island for a while, but he gets to keep in touch with the rest of the world via a blog, and last I checked, that ain't so bad...
You'd be wondering, "why the hell is this post up here anyway? You can't really make any wisecracks on it." Well, the campaign's already made about AU$110 million in ads and publicity, so if all it takes is a post to save a bunch of natural corals that keep most of the Australian coast still bearable to live in, then who am I to argue?
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Kasav's Mom is Expected to Drop In...
His mom must be so proud...This just in: Pranab Mukherjee, the External Affairs Minister, just announced that Ajmal Amir Kasav, also known as the certified lunatic who murdered scores of innocent civilians during the Mumbai seize, is going to be having a special visitor: his mother is coming to town. Won't they look so precious together for the media, one big happy family in the highest security prison in the state? I can almost smell the barf that will be projecting from my stomach when I see this again tomorrow in the papers.
I'm all for family reunions. I really am. But not so much when it's for a delusional, murdering psychopath who effectively split our nation into tiny fragments of immense shame and dejection as we all pranced around to his and his associates' fancy whim to participate in a bloodbath massacre.
Why is Mukherjee allowing family visits for a terrorist, a disgusting piece of an excuse for humanity? His case has been pushed back for so long, and these reports are falling in even as his case has been scheduled to start tomorrow. The news aired first on Times Now, and Shinjoy Chaudry, Senior Editor of Times Now, stated that this can be considered as good news since it confirms that Kasav is from Pakistan.
...
...
...
...
...
Aww, Pumpkin. You're missing one tiny little fact. This is Pakistan we're talking about. If they went out of their way to reject Kasav and all his cronies as Pakistani citizens, then it's just going to take Zardari and Gilani a few seconds to organize a fancy press conference and say that Kasav's 'mother' isn't a Pakistan citizen either. Then you're back to square one, kid.
So while this drama enfolds, I'm going to go see if I can renounce my own Indian citizenship stating 'utter shame' as my excuse.
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Friday, April 10, 2009
Please Be Kidding. Please Be Kidding. PLEASE BE F-ING KIDDING!
Pack your bags, read your holy books and repent for your sins, for the Queen of All Things Emotionally Disturbing finally figured, "Hey! What's the best way to compete for screen time on TV? I know! I'll pick a douchebag husband and marry him live."
This shit will be aired on NDTV Imagine. I figured NDTV would be responsible for it...
"Welcome to Rakhi Sawant's Swayamvar. In what promises to be a first of its kind experience on television, Bollywood's hottest item girl has chosen to search for her real life-partner on NDTV Imagine's new reality show Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. The nationwide search for the perfect husband will culminate in a grand wedding where Rakhi will tie the knot.
So what are you waiting for? Tell us what Rakhi should be looking for in her life partner.
Better still, if you think you are Mr Right for the Mirchi babe then propose to her online. Who knows you might be the one to sweep Rakhi off her feet!
For more keep watching Rakhi Ka Swayamvar on NDTV Imagine."
Too many sarcastic remarks in head......brain cells fizzing......spontaneous implosion......*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
P.S. Do her eyes look red in the above image? They're crimson... like the eyes of the devil's spawn. Like Voldemort's. Like Sauron's, except not yellow. Oh, my God... I am such a fantasy-book geek. And also, the Anti-Christ is among us! RUNNNNNN!
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Thursday, April 9, 2009
Just Say... Nay?
So I was out with my mom's friend's daughter, who is a journalist, and we attended some seminar on sex education for teens. Within seconds of reaching the tented area, I figured I knew way more than those specialists would ever tell me. It was a dark place, filled with evil ignorance that yelled at me to f-ing run out, but I thought I might get a good laugh out of it.
I didn't.
They flashed the usual "Stay Abstinent" card like they always do in schools, talking about how you should be married and totally devoted to your spouse and in love before you take the Big Step. I think I heard something along the lines of, "condoms can make you sick", but I wasn't listening. Snake II on my mobile phone was more engaging than this shit.
Saying "no" never works. Haven't they figured that out by now? I took biology in school and just the fact that we were mature enough not to giggle during human reproduction lectures says a lot about the level of maturity that we've reached. When we are told so often to be abstinent, we tend to give ourselves mental beatdowns if we so much as think about anything sexual. And how can you not be sexual when everything from the media to clothing is sex-ified? "Holding off till marriage" makes one so completely stubborn that they'll remain pure and when they, God forbid, end up succumbing, they just don't know how to protect themselves. Which directly relates to the rise in STDs and unwanted pregnancies, even as the government makes a commendable effort to curb the same.
And plus, we're teens. If we're told something is wrong, we have to have it.
Advocating safe sex is pretty much the only other way. I see it as two options: push your kid to the brink of temptation without knowing how to be safe OR teach them to accept sexuality for what it is and hope they keep themselves safe.
We can comprehend. If only someone told us what is to be comprehended..
And signing off, with a little clip from Mean Girls:
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I didn't.
They flashed the usual "Stay Abstinent" card like they always do in schools, talking about how you should be married and totally devoted to your spouse and in love before you take the Big Step. I think I heard something along the lines of, "condoms can make you sick", but I wasn't listening. Snake II on my mobile phone was more engaging than this shit.
Saying "no" never works. Haven't they figured that out by now? I took biology in school and just the fact that we were mature enough not to giggle during human reproduction lectures says a lot about the level of maturity that we've reached. When we are told so often to be abstinent, we tend to give ourselves mental beatdowns if we so much as think about anything sexual. And how can you not be sexual when everything from the media to clothing is sex-ified? "Holding off till marriage" makes one so completely stubborn that they'll remain pure and when they, God forbid, end up succumbing, they just don't know how to protect themselves. Which directly relates to the rise in STDs and unwanted pregnancies, even as the government makes a commendable effort to curb the same.
And plus, we're teens. If we're told something is wrong, we have to have it.
Advocating safe sex is pretty much the only other way. I see it as two options: push your kid to the brink of temptation without knowing how to be safe OR teach them to accept sexuality for what it is and hope they keep themselves safe.
We can comprehend. If only someone told us what is to be comprehended..
And signing off, with a little clip from Mean Girls:
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Sunday, April 5, 2009
North Korea Fires Rocket
A nuclear cloud, you say? No, North Korea said they werejust Chinese crackers.
What? You want me to be surprised? C'mon! We all knew this day would come...
I really don't feel like reporting anything, considering how long this whole 'North Korea is a defiant idiot' history is and my comments have run dry by now. So in quick words:
We all know what's going to happen next, don't we? NK will apologize, US will attempt to infiltrate its government, people will be caught and killed for 'spying', homeless people from all over the world will stand outside embassies and hold protests for God knows what, NK will apologize again, everyone will accept it and go back to their own bumbling governments and economies, all will be right in the world again except for said governments and economies, attention will be diverted back to Iraq/Afghanistan for a few months and NK will secretly start amassing nuclear weapons again.
If I, a juvenile, can predict this, why can't the world leaders?
.
I really don't feel like reporting anything, considering how long this whole 'North Korea is a defiant idiot' history is and my comments have run dry by now. So in quick words:
- NK fired a long-distance rocket, named Taepodong-2.
- It has a range of an approximate, and very sweet, 6000km
- Fired off NK's east coast, 15 seconds past 11:30 am local time.
- EVERYONE condemns it. Pranab Mukherjee, our "Minister" for External Affair, gives his two cents on the topic.
- NK claims it was supposed to be a satellite.
- US says in response, "Yeah, right!"
- Major repercussions. Or so says Obama. We all know by now that he's just a talker.
We all know what's going to happen next, don't we? NK will apologize, US will attempt to infiltrate its government, people will be caught and killed for 'spying', homeless people from all over the world will stand outside embassies and hold protests for God knows what, NK will apologize again, everyone will accept it and go back to their own bumbling governments and economies, all will be right in the world again except for said governments and economies, attention will be diverted back to Iraq/Afghanistan for a few months and NK will secretly start amassing nuclear weapons again.
If I, a juvenile, can predict this, why can't the world leaders?
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Thursday, April 2, 2009
Kareena Kapoor's Dress Cost Rs. 8 lakhs. I'm Not Even Trying to Joke Here
OK, that's not the dress. But you can bet it'll be something like this. Or it'll probably be strapless, backless and only reaching her mid-thighs, at which point we should all be yelling, "8 lakhs for a dress that's made from a half-metre piece of cloth?!"
The dress was apparently made for her spot-on portrayal of a supermodel in her new movie, Kambakht Ishq. See, honey, supermodels are a thing of the past. When your arch rival played a similar character in another movie and garnered critical acclaim for it, it looks pretty darn pathetic when you copy her full on. Especially since this is also an Akshay Kumar movie, and you can bet your life that you won't be on screen for more than 12 minutes. For clarifications, refer to Katrina Kaif.
Oh, and one more thing that might just put you over the edge: She got to keep the dress.
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Sharad Pawar Doesn't Own a Car
Would you just give me a minute? I think I have something in my throat...
*cough*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
*cough*
Yeah, I'm OK.
Yep. Definitely looks like a man who
walks to work everyday.
Besides this, Times of India reported that the current Union civil aviation minister Praful Patel and Pawar's daughter, Supriya Sule, don't own vehicles either. And Sushilkumar Shinde, Congress nominee from Solapur for the elections, just owns a Fiat purchased in 1974 for Rs.13,000. I really, really, really want to laugh again, but I fear if I begin now, I won't stop till sunset and probably miss the rerun show of Roadies this afternoon.
I'm guessing there was a interview or something with the Income Tax Department that prompted this declaration, even if the rest of the country knows that it's A BIG FAT GODDAMN LIE! Next there'll be a talk show held by Arnab Goswami of Times Now asking Pawar to explain this. Let me illustrate that for you:
Arnab Goswami: Blah blah blah blah (for approximately 45 minutes, while bashing the BJP and laughing at his own jokes, while the rest of the world switches channels to watch Shilpa Shukla make drama on Jhalak Dikhla Ja instead) You recently declared your assets and said that you don't own a car. Of course, as noble citizens and devoted countrymen, we totally believe everything you say. No evidence of debauchery or illegal activites exist to prove otherwise. But to reaffirm faith in your general awesomeness with the good people of the nation, what do you have to comment on the situation, which I personally believe is a pot of back-handed lies used to attack your holy grace.
Sharad Pawar: Zzzz - hmm... what? Oh, a thousand apologies, I fell asleep. Vote for me. *snooze*
AG: Poor guy. Working so hard for the benefit of the common masses. He's the Martin Luther King of India, a beacon of hope and truth in such troubled time. He enlightens us with his -
Producer: Uhh... Arnab? You have seven minutes of on-air time left and frankly, no one's watching this. Why do I fund for this shit?
AG: Whatever, bitch. We'll take our first caller now. Hello?
Caller: Hello, Arnab. I just want to ask Mr. Pawar how he thinks he'll garner votes this year when everyone knows about his underhanded schemes to dominate and overthrow democracy in his own pathetic and - *bleep*
AG: Oops. We seem to have lost our caller. No matter. In the next few minutes, we'll air the entire video of the Congress's 'Jai Ho' anthem, especially compiled for general public showcase. I hope you enjoy it and vote judiciously. Here's Arnab Goswami of Times Now saying goodbye, thank you and please, vote for the right people. I mean, the Congress. Not that I'm trying to advertise them or anything. Just that, they're good. Vote for them. Though it's your choice. That's what democracy is. Your vote is private. Vote for them. Seriously. Thanks.
God, I'd hate to be the woman who presents the news with him *shudder*
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*cough*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
*cough*
Yeah, I'm OK.
Yep. Definitely looks like a man whowalks to work everyday.
Besides this, Times of India reported that the current Union civil aviation minister Praful Patel and Pawar's daughter, Supriya Sule, don't own vehicles either. And Sushilkumar Shinde, Congress nominee from Solapur for the elections, just owns a Fiat purchased in 1974 for Rs.13,000. I really, really, really want to laugh again, but I fear if I begin now, I won't stop till sunset and probably miss the rerun show of Roadies this afternoon.
I'm guessing there was a interview or something with the Income Tax Department that prompted this declaration, even if the rest of the country knows that it's A BIG FAT GODDAMN LIE! Next there'll be a talk show held by Arnab Goswami of Times Now asking Pawar to explain this. Let me illustrate that for you:
Arnab Goswami: Blah blah blah blah (for approximately 45 minutes, while bashing the BJP and laughing at his own jokes, while the rest of the world switches channels to watch Shilpa Shukla make drama on Jhalak Dikhla Ja instead) You recently declared your assets and said that you don't own a car. Of course, as noble citizens and devoted countrymen, we totally believe everything you say. No evidence of debauchery or illegal activites exist to prove otherwise. But to reaffirm faith in your general awesomeness with the good people of the nation, what do you have to comment on the situation, which I personally believe is a pot of back-handed lies used to attack your holy grace.
Sharad Pawar: Zzzz - hmm... what? Oh, a thousand apologies, I fell asleep. Vote for me. *snooze*
AG: Poor guy. Working so hard for the benefit of the common masses. He's the Martin Luther King of India, a beacon of hope and truth in such troubled time. He enlightens us with his -
Producer: Uhh... Arnab? You have seven minutes of on-air time left and frankly, no one's watching this. Why do I fund for this shit?
AG: Whatever, bitch. We'll take our first caller now. Hello?
Caller: Hello, Arnab. I just want to ask Mr. Pawar how he thinks he'll garner votes this year when everyone knows about his underhanded schemes to dominate and overthrow democracy in his own pathetic and - *bleep*
AG: Oops. We seem to have lost our caller. No matter. In the next few minutes, we'll air the entire video of the Congress's 'Jai Ho' anthem, especially compiled for general public showcase. I hope you enjoy it and vote judiciously. Here's Arnab Goswami of Times Now saying goodbye, thank you and please, vote for the right people. I mean, the Congress. Not that I'm trying to advertise them or anything. Just that, they're good. Vote for them. Though it's your choice. That's what democracy is. Your vote is private. Vote for them. Seriously. Thanks.
God, I'd hate to be the woman who presents the news with him *shudder*
.
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Today's OMFG News that You Skipped Reading Because You Found the 'Twinkle Khanna Unbuttons Akshay Kumar's Jeans' News Cooler
This is more of information that an actual sarcastic, witty, funny, quippy blog entry, which are characteristic of the one I usually post. *smiles for paparazzi*
On Sunday, L.K.Advani of the BJP said that, if they come to power, he would make sure that all that black money residing in the cold, dark vaults of Swiss banks that was dumped there by eminent personalities in India who just don't feel like they want to pay the required tax on it.
If you're wondering how much money is actually in there and if it's enough to turn this issue into one that might sway votes in the elections, the estimated value of cash stored is... wait for it... $1.4 trillion.
No fake.
The Congress already dismissed the idea of opening the accounts, even though the banks are willing to allow governments to do so. US and Germany are already doing it, and there aren't even any elections going on there right now so they can garner votes. They're doing it to get enough money to pull the countries out of the current economic slump and it has been estimated that if India gets the entire amount back, it can immediately put her amongst the top five nations in the world.
So after Advani's comments and the Congress's reluctance, you tend to wonder... What is our beloved Sonia hiding? *
I'm assuming you're smart enough to figure that out on your own :)
.
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On Sunday, L.K.Advani of the BJP said that, if they come to power, he would make sure that all that black money residing in the cold, dark vaults of Swiss banks that was dumped there by eminent personalities in India who just don't feel like they want to pay the required tax on it.
If you're wondering how much money is actually in there and if it's enough to turn this issue into one that might sway votes in the elections, the estimated value of cash stored is... wait for it... $1.4 trillion.
No fake.
The Congress already dismissed the idea of opening the accounts, even though the banks are willing to allow governments to do so. US and Germany are already doing it, and there aren't even any elections going on there right now so they can garner votes. They're doing it to get enough money to pull the countries out of the current economic slump and it has been estimated that if India gets the entire amount back, it can immediately put her amongst the top five nations in the world.
So after Advani's comments and the Congress's reluctance, you tend to wonder... What is our beloved Sonia hiding? *
I'm assuming you're smart enough to figure that out on your own :)
.
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It Happened. It Actually Happened.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me...So on the 31st of March, 2009, the first sign of the apocalypse that will soon hit this world (or at least, India) and render all of us dead and lined up for the final Justice call, was observed.
Still can't guess it?
Yeah, they got their Padmashrees...
Besides Rai-Bachchan and Kumar, Helen managed to grab one of those medals for her "contribution to art and cinema". Because it takes immense talent to strip-dance on a bar table.
But it's OK. When it is announced at the next Republic Day celebrations that Rakhi Sawant will be honoured with one for her incomparable contribution to drama and skin-show, this news will wane to give rise to immense anger amongst the Indian population that they didn't vote her off Nach Baliye when they should have, or all this would have never happened.
Oh, and by the way, I've lost all faith in humanity.
Good day!
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Monday, March 23, 2009
1... 2... 3... 4... Get to Ten Before You Kill Someone...
I walked into Crosswords recently to buy myself a bunch of old favourites; books which I had lost or lent to someone who never gave them back (you know who you are) or just ripped apart by accident. So I scrambled around here and there and managed to pick up a few Grishams, Ludlums, a copy of The Tempest, the entire Lord of the Rings series and a couple of *cough* romance novels *cough*.
So here I was holding all these books and fumbling towards the counter when this girl, probably as old as me, came up to the cashier and asked, "Do you have a copy of The Three Musketeers?
To which the cashier replied, "Yes, ma'am, we do. Would you like the original or abridged version or one with cliff notes?"
"I don't know. Can you point me to where that is?"
He waves towards a section of stacks. "Near the classics section."
The girl gave a huge smile and FINALLY left, giving me the opportunity to dump my books onto the counter.
Oh, but knowing my luck, she was back in seconds. "It's such a big shelf of books! I have no idea where I'm supposed to look."
I was doing my best not to shout my ass off at her, when the cashier intervened and said to me, "I'll be right back, ma'am" and made me wait for a good three minutes.
The girl appeared with the cashier, seeming extremely happy for getting her hands on one lousy book, and almost crashed into me at the counter. And the idiot that I am, I tried to make the situation better by making small talk.
"So, do you have to study that for school or something?" I asked casually, hoping she'd just go, "Hmm" and I could rest in peace again.
Only she started gushing, "NO! I saw this book was mentioned in that movie. With that cute guy!! The Slumdog one... Have you seen it? Dev Patil is sooooooo cute!"
*Cue ominous background score*
...Mentioned in that movie...
The Slumdog one...
...Have you seen it?
Dev Patil...
Holy mother of *beeeep* !
My Second Dev Patel post in two days? Even the fates
can't deny that we're meant to be...
Let's start from the beginning:
1) You don't read Alexander Dumas because his name is mentioned in a movie. You read Alexander Dumas because he's freaking Alexander Dumas!
2) Slumdog... Have I seen it? Are you really asking an Indian that? Shame on you. Even if I hadn't seen it voluntarily, I'm sure some crazed fan (read: my friends) would have pulled me into the theatre by force of hand to watch it. We're lame like that.
3) When you want to buy a book, you check up on it first. Like what genre it is, or when it was written and whether it would be remotely interesting to you. Or at least read the back cover. I doubt someone who reads a book just because Dev mentioned it would find a story about earnest friendship, extreme valour and applaudable patriotism, all set in the medieval French period, a good read.
4) It's Patel, OK? He's Gujju. It's not Patil; that's not Gujju at all. He's the reason I started eating Dhoklas and watching Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai so remember: it's Patel. PATEL!
...
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So here I was holding all these books and fumbling towards the counter when this girl, probably as old as me, came up to the cashier and asked, "Do you have a copy of The Three Musketeers?
To which the cashier replied, "Yes, ma'am, we do. Would you like the original or abridged version or one with cliff notes?"
"I don't know. Can you point me to where that is?"
He waves towards a section of stacks. "Near the classics section."
The girl gave a huge smile and FINALLY left, giving me the opportunity to dump my books onto the counter.
Oh, but knowing my luck, she was back in seconds. "It's such a big shelf of books! I have no idea where I'm supposed to look."
I was doing my best not to shout my ass off at her, when the cashier intervened and said to me, "I'll be right back, ma'am" and made me wait for a good three minutes.
The girl appeared with the cashier, seeming extremely happy for getting her hands on one lousy book, and almost crashed into me at the counter. And the idiot that I am, I tried to make the situation better by making small talk.
"So, do you have to study that for school or something?" I asked casually, hoping she'd just go, "Hmm" and I could rest in peace again.
Only she started gushing, "NO! I saw this book was mentioned in that movie. With that cute guy!! The Slumdog one... Have you seen it? Dev Patil is sooooooo cute!"
*Cue ominous background score*
...Mentioned in that movie...
The Slumdog one...
...Have you seen it?
Dev Patil...
Holy mother of *beeeep* !
My Second Dev Patel post in two days? Even the fatescan't deny that we're meant to be...
Let's start from the beginning:
1) You don't read Alexander Dumas because his name is mentioned in a movie. You read Alexander Dumas because he's freaking Alexander Dumas!
2) Slumdog... Have I seen it? Are you really asking an Indian that? Shame on you. Even if I hadn't seen it voluntarily, I'm sure some crazed fan (read: my friends) would have pulled me into the theatre by force of hand to watch it. We're lame like that.
3) When you want to buy a book, you check up on it first. Like what genre it is, or when it was written and whether it would be remotely interesting to you. Or at least read the back cover. I doubt someone who reads a book just because Dev mentioned it would find a story about earnest friendship, extreme valour and applaudable patriotism, all set in the medieval French period, a good read.
4) It's Patel, OK? He's Gujju. It's not Patil; that's not Gujju at all. He's the reason I started eating Dhoklas and watching Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai so remember: it's Patel. PATEL!
...
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