Just When You Think the Samajwadi Party Couldn't Dig a Bigger Grave...

...they come right out and surprise you all over again.

I figure my own manifesto must have influenced them so much that they decided to rip off my acute wit and intelligence. Then again, their agenda really sucks, while mine reflects our time.

A cycle. On a political party's flag. They're practically
giving me bait.

The SP chief, Mulayam Singh Yadav, revealed his party's manifesto for the general elections yesterday with all this shit:

• Curbing of English medium schools, and in all generality, English itself. This is probably a direct repercussion of the fact the entire party is vastly uneducated. And because they've probably took one cocaine sniff too much.
• Curbing of...and hear this...COMPUTERS. They feel, and I directly quote, that "the use of computers in offices is creating unemployment problems. Our party feels that if work can be done by a person using hands there is no need to deploy machines." So he's just talking PCs, not laptops, right? Because if I get up in the morning and don't have access to coffee or the internet, I'll probably go down to Lucknow and shoot this guy in the head.
• Banning of agricultural goods. 'Cause they feel the employment rate during the harvest season is declining and therefore banishment of tractors, motors and those Transformers like equipments that sow, glean, harvest and thresh crops on their own is the ideal way to go about it. At this rate, only high-profile businessmen can afford basic things like food.
• Oops, too late. Apparently, they're cutting down high corporate salaries. This, in simpler words, mean more taxes. Socialist, much?
• Setting up of unemployment allowance schemes for farmers and rural workers. So Mr. Yadav. There's this thing. It's called the National Rural Employment Guarantee Programme. And it works (somewhat) since it follows the policy of "if you want cash, you need to work for it." Are you going to be banning working for farmers now and just pay them free cash? That'd work well for votes, but at the end of the day, when there's no food left in India, you might end up pondering over how f-ed up this idea is, while you slowly starve to death.
• Stock trading? According to them, it's just plain evil. An entire parallel economy thrives on the stock market alone for brokers, insurance people, speculators, corporates and middle men. So I have a question for Mr. Yadav. Why are people so stupid sometimes? Why?
• Curbing of mall culture. Are you f-ing kidding me??!!

I'm guessing this announcement was ended with a "we'll take you forward into a new era."

There's a name for it, losers. It's called the stone age.
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