P.I.M.M for Prime Minister!

Well, every major party has a manifesto by now and I, the little rascal that I am, felt the need to join with one of said major parties (whose name I shall refrain from mentioning, to look diplomatic and all) to promote their propaganda. I’m supposing no one told them how influential I can be, since as how they kicked my pretty behind all the way to the curb. So, in form of protest, I’m contesting alone this year. Yeah, loser, revenge is a bitch. VOTE FOR P.I.M.M!

MY AGENDA

FOR EDUCATION

Let’s face it, there isn’t really much to do here. A majority of rural areas don’t have secondary schools, or even primary and middle schools, for that matter, but who cares? We, as Indians, tend to kick ass in Calculus, Accounting and IT-related junk. The only people better than us are the Chinese. But we’ll exceed their population in a couple of years, so it’s OK.

FOR THE POPULATION SURGE

Speaking of, I have the perfect solution to stop the population bazooka that we’ve nurtured. Granted, it will interfere with the EDUCATION agenda, but compromise is essential. I propose: The birthing of babies must be made illegal. It’s as simple as that. If you so much as try giving birth (and scientific evidence shows that women are known to perform this activity more often than men do) you will be shot in the head and your baby will be sent to Cambodia to work in a Levi’s warehouse. No kidding.

FOR AGRICULTURE

Wikipedia states that our staple diet is rice and wheat. Well, you know what? They’re f-ing wrong! Our staple diet is pani puris and everyone knows that.

And how best to fill those millions of hungry stomachs that India had no care for before Slumdog Millionaire? Well, we wipe away all those tea plantations in Munnar and… grow pani puri trees! Screw the Green Revolution. Pani puris represent the true Indian and his frequent bowel issues.

FOR NUCLEAR POWER

I don’t know squat about atomic energy and how it works, but I fully support the growth of the industry in energy production as well as weapon amassment. You know, to nuke Lalu Prasad Yadav when he so much as opens his mouth.

FOR TAXES

No taxes for anyone! Instead, the government will give away free cash. Sure, that’ll throw the economy out of whack, but who even tries to understand the economy nowadays?

FOR RAKHI SAWANT

Another effective use of the nuclear programme.

FOR THE ECONOMY

This is a toughie. Again, I’m very uneducated about how the economy works, so along with the free cash, I’ll let all civilians hire my friend, who has a Postgraduate degree in M.A. Economics, for a

subsidized rate.

Vote for justice.

Vote for development.

Vote for randomness and incurable insanity.

Vote for P.I.M.M.

Note:

If you can’t stand a joke, that's so not my fault.

I don't really own rights for half of those pictures. Except for the first logo. That's totally mine :)

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