Zoozoos - Are They Us?

You can't not love them - they're adorable, impish, unintentionally funny and they make for good conversation over dinner. Plus, there are those scenes with the crocodile that just crack me up. All-in-all, a very bittersweet farewell to the pug that generally graces Vodafone ads.

But here's the big question: Are Zoozoos a metaphor for... Indians?

Now I don't want to go all stereotypical and (sorta) racist here, but I'd like to point out some things that may make Zoozoos more Indian than you think:

[Let's do the case study thing again. It makes me feel like a professional]


Case Study 1 - Appearance

1. Wide hips? Check.
2. Dazed expression? Check.
3. A tie, therefore denoting a white-collar job in front of a computer screen? Check.
4. Grey atmosphere spelling depression? Check.

Case Study 2: Nature

1. Loves cricket even if they don't comprehend it.

2. Waaaaaaay to inquisitive/nosy for their own good.

3. Priorities not set straight.

Case Study 3: Likes

1. Dealt with under Nature, but again, likes cricket a lot.
2. Also adores attention.
3. Media loves covering said irrelevant attention.

*Gasp* My speculation was totally correct! Why those yellow-bellied, underhanded crooks! I swear on Shahid Kapoor's career, if Vodafone isn't playing a cruel joke by mocking us, I'll -

I mean, I'll definitely go and -

What I mean to say is that Vodafone's lawyers better -

...
...
...

Oh, screw it. I love Zoozoos :)
.

share on: facebook

MTV India - I'm Shamed (Note: It Sucks)

There was a time when MTV was the up-and-coming youth oriented TV channel in India. They had relevant material, funny sketches, good Veejays that devoted their efforts towards actually making the channel one worth watching. Considering how the only other shows that teens could watch revolved around the 24-7 screening of recent Bollywood songs and/or Cartoon Network, MTV India was a huge breath of fresh air.

Then the era of the reality shows came in and sucked all the fun out of it.


Case Study 1: Skits on MTV

During a nicer time

They play this in the corner of hell where people who are guilty
of treason to their country are kept

Case Study 2: MTV Bakra

When famous people could afford to be on Bakra
without humiliating themselves

Bakra on Jose? Are we that desperate, Cyrus?

Case Study 3: "Let's Relate to Teens"
Back then: MTV Super Select with VJ Nikhil, who picked film celebrities as well as eminent personalities on his interviews
Right now: Splitsvilla, Wassup and the Tickr... need I say more?


Case Study 4: OK, I can't do this anymore *sigh*


Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Why does she have to ruin everything for us, can't she just watch something else?" I would, except I'm really not up for watching Hard Kaur attempt to dance for Saroj Khan, who should have retired from the scene when she hit 80. Or for catching Bigg Boss (two g's? Really?). Or watching Karan Arjun over and over again on Set Max.

I'll just go chuck my TV out now.
.

share on: facebook

I'm Blaming Palak for This

I really hate her.

A nine-year-old boy who I won't name on this blog, recently imitated a stunt on one of the Roadies - Hell Down Under episodes. You know, the one where Palak and the other chick have nooses around their necks, waiting for Nauman to rescue them.

The child's uncle said, "He watched the episode on the third floor of our house along with his friends and tried to imitate the stunt after his friends left. After hearing a loud noise, I rushed to the room and found Chandan hanging from the ceiling fan." (Source: NDTV)

Also, Inspector Jaganath Saroj, Vikas Nagar police station, said: "According to his uncle, Bhagat Singh, with whom he used to live in the Vikas Nagar locality, Chandan never missed any episode of the show."

I'm not going to pull a crack at reality television and how it's ruining us, since you already know all that. Instead, I'm going to wish the boy peace and hope this doesn't continue to happen.
.


share on: facebook

This is Unacceptable!

Wow, I just sounded all posh and everything.


I was flipping channels on TV, quite obviously bored, and I chanced upon a press conference with BJP's spokesperson, Arun Jaitley. Being a lawyer and a superhero with words, I really like the guy and sat down to watch it when Times Now cut right across to one of their pretty intern correspondents. She was talking about the IPL.

I skipped to NDTV News: IPL.

Headlines Today: IPL.

CNN-IBN: IPL.

CNBC: IPL.

BBC: IPL (??? Don't they have any British news to report?)


So since when did T-20 cricket gain an upper hand over the elections? I'm guessing it was around the time news channels with their sensational, and as Arnab Goswami would put it, 'exclusive', news footage graced our television sets.
.
share on: facebook

Please Be Kidding. Please Be Kidding. PLEASE BE F-ING KIDDING!

Pack your bags, read your holy books and repent for your sins, for the Queen of All Things Emotionally Disturbing finally figured, "Hey! What's the best way to compete for screen time on TV? I know! I'll pick a douchebag husband and marry him live."

This shit will be aired on NDTV Imagine. I figured NDTV would be responsible for it...

"Welcome to Rakhi Sawant's Swayamvar. In what promises to be a first of its kind experience on television, Bollywood's hottest item girl has chosen to search for her real life-partner on NDTV Imagine's new reality show Rakhi Ka Swayamvar. The nationwide search for the perfect husband will culminate in a grand wedding where Rakhi will tie the knot.

So what are you waiting for? Tell us what Rakhi should be looking for in her life partner.

Better still, if you think you are Mr Right for the Mirchi babe then propose to her online. Who knows you might be the one to sweep Rakhi off her feet!

For more keep watching Rakhi Ka Swayamvar on NDTV Imagine."

Too many sarcastic remarks in head......brain cells fizzing......spontaneous implosion......*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*


P.S. Do her eyes look red in the above image? They're crimson... like the eyes of the devil's spawn. Like Voldemort's. Like Sauron's, except not yellow. Oh, my God... I am such a fantasy-book geek. And also, the Anti-Christ is among us! RUNNNNNN!

share on: facebook