Sonia: Advani slave to RSS

If looks could kill...

Sonia Gandhi loves involving herself in conversations that never included her in the first place. Which is why when the current PM and the next BJP PM hopeful had a tiff with some embarrassingly childish insults, Ms.Gandhi felt a dire need to respond even as she wasn't asked a question. I think it's a family problem, even Priyanka can't keep her mouth shut.


NDTV:

Stepping up attack on NDA's Prime Ministerial candidate L K Advani for his weak PM remarks against Manmohan Singh, Congress president Sonia Gandhi said on Saturday that the BJP leader himself "cannot take any decision without the approval of Sangh Parivar".

"The leader (Advani) who has targeted our Prime Minister, can he ever take a decision without the approval of Sangh Parivar? He even had to quit his post once. Then you know who is weak," she said.

"Congress does not run on the instruction or order of anybody. It takes its orders from people," she told an election rally in Pangidi.

Gandhi had on April 15 alleged that the BJP leader was a "slave of the RSS", while dismissing his oft-repeated charge of Manmohan Singh being a weak Prime Minister.

She ridiculed BJP's charges of the UPA being "soft on terror", saying her party has never been weak in fighting terrorists.

As a note, the RSS stands for Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, a non-profit charity organization that every member in the BJP is part of by default. They've done some pretty good work and are obviously a force to be reckoned with.

And it's funny that this byte is to boost the image of Manmohan Singh, who from what everyone knows, obviously consults Sonia for everything. I mean, the guy holds the most powerful position in the country (besides, you know, the Tatas, Ambanis and SRK) and he still lets his deputy walk before him for public meetings and conferences? If he has an inkling of self-respect, he would call her out on it and ask her to, please, madam, follow MY lead, since I am YOUR leader and definitely not the other way round.

It's a shame that we're losing good men to the dictating principles of hierarchy that still forms such a major part of our administration.

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(Insert Lame Salman Khan Joke Here)

Remember the guy who shot at black buck deers, ran over street dwellers, verbally assaulted famous ex-girlfriends and starred in the disaster that was Hello? Yeah, well he's gotten crazier than was earlier predicted.

Salman Khan, or Sallu as Bombay Times affectionately refers to him, has recently been out of his protected studios to campaign for friends who are standing for the elections. On Sunday morning, he arrived at Nashik to support NCP candidate Sameer Bhujpal. A few hours before that he evoked utter chaos at a rally for Satyajit Gaekwad. And on the 9th of April, we flew to Punjab to show his support to fellow actor Vinod Khanna.

Who are members of the NCP, the Congress and the BJP respectively.

I appreciate his efforts, especially when a certain other Khan is partying it up in South Africa with the cheerleaders and general Indian national cricket team rejects. And in his defense, he said that he was campaigning for his friends and not for a party in particular. But in times like this you have to ask, is Salman Khan a loyal friend-in-need or just politically messed up due to accidentally shooting himself in the head with his hunting rifle?
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I'm Blaming Palak for This

I really hate her.

A nine-year-old boy who I won't name on this blog, recently imitated a stunt on one of the Roadies - Hell Down Under episodes. You know, the one where Palak and the other chick have nooses around their necks, waiting for Nauman to rescue them.

The child's uncle said, "He watched the episode on the third floor of our house along with his friends and tried to imitate the stunt after his friends left. After hearing a loud noise, I rushed to the room and found Chandan hanging from the ceiling fan." (Source: NDTV)

Also, Inspector Jaganath Saroj, Vikas Nagar police station, said: "According to his uncle, Bhagat Singh, with whom he used to live in the Vikas Nagar locality, Chandan never missed any episode of the show."

I'm not going to pull a crack at reality television and how it's ruining us, since you already know all that. Instead, I'm going to wish the boy peace and hope this doesn't continue to happen.
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Shh! It's Not Really a Spy Satellite

Even though it totally is. Introducing RISAT-2, the Radar Imaging Satellite weighing 200-kg, carried by PSLV-C12, along with 40-kg micro educational satellite ANUSAT. It lifted off from ISRO's Satish Dhawan Space Centre at about 6:45 am and placed into 550 km orbit around earth.

RISAT, in all seriousness, is one hell of a cyborg-satellite. It can take images of objects on Earth as small as one metre in length, so siting a terrorist or something would be a piece of cake. It will be very helpful in detecting natural disasters (all except earthquakes. That only animals can do) and assist in preparation and mitigation. Also, it is the satellite equivalent of your best friend peeping into your personal drawers and uncovering your deepest, darkest secrets, but involving the infringement of the privacy of foreign countries. Oh, well, if the US can do it, then Yes, We Can too. See that? That was a delicately placed jibe at Obama. I crack myself up!

But keep the news hush, 'cause the ISRO chief, Madhavan Nair, doesn't want anyone to know its true nature. He said to Times of India:

"This is an imaging satellite that can identify features on ground. There is nothing as a spy satellite. Though the satellite has a global coverage we will use it only for our use."

Dude, you just described a spy satellite in the most polite way possible.

I rest my case.
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This is Unacceptable!

Wow, I just sounded all posh and everything.


I was flipping channels on TV, quite obviously bored, and I chanced upon a press conference with BJP's spokesperson, Arun Jaitley. Being a lawyer and a superhero with words, I really like the guy and sat down to watch it when Times Now cut right across to one of their pretty intern correspondents. She was talking about the IPL.

I skipped to NDTV News: IPL.

Headlines Today: IPL.

CNN-IBN: IPL.

CNBC: IPL.

BBC: IPL (??? Don't they have any British news to report?)


So since when did T-20 cricket gain an upper hand over the elections? I'm guessing it was around the time news channels with their sensational, and as Arnab Goswami would put it, 'exclusive', news footage graced our television sets.
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Snapshots

Click to enlarge

This is the Sports section of Times Now, a news site that sucks just as much as its mother television channel. And every news article released over the last few days have all been based on the IPL.

In comparison to the three random articles that ran when the hockey team won the Azlan Shah Cup.

It's an IPL frenzy. And an ironic one, since it isn't even taking place in India. Do you realize that Lalit Modi has flown out more than two thousand Indians, including the team owners, sponsors, players and crew? To thousand Indians lost, two thousand votes lost. Prominent personalities like Tendulkar, SRK and many others might not be voting this year, and since they influence so many people, we'll have probably lost the voters they could have convinced too. The current voting rate is at about 58-62% and even a thousand people can make a reasonable difference.

It's also quite funny (and I mean banging-head-on-table-funny, not haha-funny) how Lalit Modi was depressed that the League was not going to be held in India. You know, considering he's so patriotic and all. But now that he's stolen about two thousand votes from the same India he loves so much, perspectives might change.
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Let's Analyse: Kasab's Wikipedia Page

Yep. That's how famous the guy is. He has his own Wikipedia page.

It starts very nicely, by giving his full name and then talking about how his family is a line of butchers, before going into the fact that he's in Indian custody for coldblooded murder. The then go on to list the 200-odd names he has, which caused a major confusion since Times Now had reported 'Kasab' and NDTV stated it was 'Qasab', while the rest of India weeped over how pathetic our media and communication system is. And I personally enjoyed how they put up a little flag of Pakistan right next to his birth place and nationality, kind of to bring home the fact that, hey, Zardari, how much ever you deny it, he IS from your land.

If you're in the mood for crying black tears, please check this out.
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The Cell Advantage

My cousin called a huge family meeting today (over an STD conference call, but it still counts) and announced, to no one's surprise, that she's totally knocked up :)

Which means... I'm gonna be an aunt! I'm growing up!

Which also means, all my biology lectures from secondary school will finally prove useful, and being the only other girl child in the family, I must pass on certain valuable information to her.

And being a human being in general, I must pass on the following to you :)

Stem cells are considered the pioneering science to a healthier life for millions of children and adults. Stem cells are cells that are in their generative form when the foetus is still in the womb. These cells are found in the umbilical cord connecting which provides nutrients from mother to child and have been found to be in the initial stages at which all human cells are before differentiating into those specific cells required by different organs of the body. In short, if collected at the right time, they can be used to reconstruct many basic organs in case a transplant or treatment for terminal diseases is required.

And if that doesn't spell a secure life for your children, I don't know what does.

The Life Cell International initiative helps parents-to-be to register with them, with a fee of Rs.75000 for storage of umbilical cord blood for up to 21 years. A questionnaire based on the parents' medical and sexual history has to be filled along with their particulars and sent to the mentioned address. Upon commencement of labour, a special kit is sent to the hospital registered for birth and the doctors are advised on the needful prior to the delivery. Once the blood is collected, it is couriered to their Keelakottaiyur lab in Chennai for cryo-storage.

I'm definitely younger than my sister, but I don't feel ashamed to remind her about such measures. And neither should you. Pass on the message. Just because.
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Kasav's Mom is Expected to Drop In...

His mom must be so proud...

This just in: Pranab Mukherjee, the External Affairs Minister, just announced that Ajmal Amir Kasav, also known as the certified lunatic who murdered scores of innocent civilians during the Mumbai seize, is going to be having a special visitor: his mother is coming to town. Won't they look so precious together for the media, one big happy family in the highest security prison in the state? I can almost smell the barf that will be projecting from my stomach when I see this again tomorrow in the papers.

I'm all for family reunions. I really am. But not so much when it's for a delusional, murdering psychopath who effectively split our nation into tiny fragments of immense shame and dejection as we all pranced around to his and his associates' fancy whim to participate in a bloodbath massacre.

Why is Mukherjee allowing family visits for a terrorist, a disgusting piece of an excuse for humanity? His case has been pushed back for so long, and these reports are falling in even as his case has been scheduled to start tomorrow. The news aired first on Times Now, and Shinjoy Chaudry, Senior Editor of Times Now, stated that this can be considered as good news since it confirms that Kasav is from Pakistan.

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Aww, Pumpkin. You're missing one tiny little fact. This is Pakistan we're talking about. If they went out of their way to reject Kasav and all his cronies as Pakistani citizens, then it's just going to take Zardari and Gilani a few seconds to organize a fancy press conference and say that Kasav's 'mother' isn't a Pakistan citizen either. Then you're back to square one, kid.

So while this drama enfolds, I'm going to go see if I can renounce my own Indian citizenship stating 'utter shame' as my excuse.
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Because This is So Necessary Right Now

It seems like Bollywood isn't all that happy about being left out of the spotlight, which has recently been focused on national politics for some very obvious reasons. Now, I understand the industry's desperate need to be the focus of attention all the time, but this is just ridiculous - Mukesh Bhatt just managed to snag a visit with the Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, to discuss the whole producer-multiplex fiasco. Oh, please. Like the PM is free long enough to actually reserve a spot on his busy schedule of campaigning for a -

Oh, wait. He is. More from India-Forums:

Mumbai, April 13 (IANS) In the wake of the Bollywood producers-multiplex tiff over revenue sharing, filmmaker Mukesh Bhatt met Prime Minister Manmohan Singh here Monday to discuss various issues concerning the film industry.

'I met the prime minister today (Monday) and discussed with him various issues that are affecting the industry today,' Bhatt, who is the chairman of the United Forum for Bollywood Producers and Distributors, told IANS.

'I told him that Bollywood is the biggest entertainment industry in the world after Hollywood and it also has a major cultural impact in various parts of the world, especially in South East Asia. So, our industry should be looked at by the government carefully,' Bhatt said.

'I have requested him to form a dedicated and experienced panel to look into the day-to-day working of the industry and tackle the issues in a legitimate manner without any bias, otherwise the industry would surely be extinct some day, ' he said.

As for the prime minister's response Bhatt said: 'He was very welcome to the idea. He said he can't do much as of now due to the elections. He said he would 100 percent help us and support us with such a panel if he comes to power. And I hope that happens soon.'

Though the point of discussion was primarily the revenue sharing between producers and multiplexes, Bhatt says he wanted to convey to the prime minister the need for government intervention in such matters.

You know what? The Congress should strike out 'alleviating poverty', 'promoting education', 'appeasing minorities' and 'fixing the economy' and just go ahead and add 'help the snobbish retards in the film industry' to their manifesto. That'll definitely get them votes.

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