1... 2... 3... 4... Get to Ten Before You Kill Someone...

I walked into Crosswords recently to buy myself a bunch of old favourites; books which I had lost or lent to someone who never gave them back (you know who you are) or just ripped apart by accident. So I scrambled around here and there and managed to pick up a few Grishams, Ludlums, a copy of The Tempest, the entire Lord of the Rings series and a couple of *cough* romance novels *cough*.

So here I was holding all these books and fumbling towards the counter when this girl, probably as old as me, came up to the cashier and asked, "Do you have a copy of The Three Musketeers?

To which the cashier replied, "Yes, ma'am, we do. Would you like the original or abridged version or one with cliff notes?"

"I don't know. Can you point me to where that is?"

He waves towards a section of stacks. "Near the classics section."

The girl gave a huge smile and FINALLY left, giving me the opportunity to dump my books onto the counter.

Oh, but knowing my luck, she was back in seconds. "It's such a big shelf of books! I have no idea where I'm supposed to look."

I was doing my best not to shout my ass off at her, when the cashier intervened and said to me, "I'll be right back, ma'am" and made me wait for a good three minutes.

The girl appeared with the cashier, seeming extremely happy for getting her hands on one lousy book, and almost crashed into me at the counter. And the idiot that I am, I tried to make the situation better by making small talk.

"So, do you have to study that for school or something?" I asked casually, hoping she'd just go, "Hmm" and I could rest in peace again.

Only she started gushing, "NO! I saw this book was mentioned in that movie. With that cute guy!! The Slumdog one... Have you seen it? Dev Patil is sooooooo cute!"


*Cue ominous background score*

...Mentioned in that movie...

The Slumdog one...

...Have you seen it?

Dev Patil...


Holy mother of *beeeep* !

My Second Dev Patel post in two days? Even the fates
can't deny that we're meant to be...

Let's start from the beginning:

1) You don't read Alexander Dumas because his name is mentioned in a movie. You read Alexander Dumas because he's freaking Alexander Dumas!

2) Slumdog... Have I seen it? Are you really asking an Indian that? Shame on you. Even if I hadn't seen it voluntarily, I'm sure some crazed fan (read: my friends) would have pulled me into the theatre by force of hand to watch it. We're lame like that.

3) When you want to buy a book, you check up on it first. Like what genre it is, or when it was written and whether it would be remotely interesting to you. Or at least read the back cover. I doubt someone who reads a book just because Dev mentioned it would find a story about earnest friendship, extreme valour and applaudable patriotism, all set in the medieval French period, a good read.

4) It's Patel, OK? He's Gujju. It's not Patil; that's not Gujju at all. He's the reason I started eating Dhoklas and watching Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai so remember: it's Patel. PATEL!


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