Sharad Pawar Doesn't Own a Car

Would you just give me a minute? I think I have something in my throat...

*cough*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

*cough*

Yeah, I'm OK.

Yep. Definitely looks like a man who
walks to work everyday.

Besides this, Times of India reported that the current Union civil aviation minister Praful Patel and Pawar's daughter, Supriya Sule, don't own vehicles either. And Sushilkumar Shinde, Congress nominee from Solapur for the elections, just owns a Fiat purchased in 1974 for Rs.13,000. I really, really, really want to laugh again, but I fear if I begin now, I won't stop till sunset and probably miss the rerun show of Roadies this afternoon.


I'm guessing there was a interview or something with the Income Tax Department that prompted this declaration, even if the rest of the country knows that it's A BIG FAT GODDAMN LIE! Next there'll be a talk show held by Arnab Goswami of Times Now asking Pawar to explain this. Let me illustrate that for you:

Arnab Goswami: Blah blah blah blah (for approximately 45 minutes, while bashing the BJP and laughing at his own jokes, while the rest of the world switches channels to watch Shilpa Shukla make drama on Jhalak Dikhla Ja instead) You recently declared your assets and said that you don't own a car. Of course, as noble citizens and devoted countrymen, we totally believe everything you say. No evidence of debauchery or illegal activites exist to prove otherwise. But to reaffirm faith in your general awesomeness with the good people of the nation, what do you have to comment on the situation, which I personally believe is a pot of back-handed lies used to attack your holy grace.

Sharad Pawar: Zzzz - hmm... what? Oh, a thousand apologies, I fell asleep. Vote for me. *snooze*

AG: Poor guy. Working so hard for the benefit of the common masses. He's the Martin Luther King of India, a beacon of hope and truth in such troubled time. He enlightens us with his -

Producer: Uhh... Arnab? You have seven minutes of on-air time left and frankly, no one's watching this. Why do I fund for this shit?

AG: Whatever, bitch. We'll take our first caller now. Hello?

Caller: Hello, Arnab. I just want to ask Mr. Pawar how he thinks he'll garner votes this year when everyone knows about his underhanded schemes to dominate and overthrow democracy in his own pathetic and - *bleep*

AG: Oops. We seem to have lost our caller. No matter. In the next few minutes, we'll air the entire video of the Congress's 'Jai Ho' anthem, especially compiled for general public showcase. I hope you enjoy it and vote judiciously. Here's Arnab Goswami of Times Now saying goodbye, thank you and please, vote for the right people. I mean, the Congress. Not that I'm trying to advertise them or anything. Just that, they're good. Vote for them. Though it's your choice. That's what democracy is. Your vote is private. Vote for them. Seriously. Thanks.


God, I'd hate to be the woman who presents the news with him *shudder*
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